I’ve been planning a vacation with a few friends for several months. The group is a mixture of singles and marrieds, and two of the couples have one small child each. In planning this trip, the parents all said upfront that they were going to leave the kids with grandparents so it could be a “real vacation.” This was my understanding when I agreed to it. Deposits and vacation plans were made. Now, with two weeks before showtime, one couple’s babysitters fell through, so they’re bringing their kid. Once they shared this news, the other parent couple said they’d bring their kid, too, almost as a favor to the first couple (company for the kid). I love these children — who call me “Auntie” — but now I don’t want to go on the trip anymore. One little kid I could have gracefully worked around. Two change the entire tone and tenor of the trip and take four of my friends away from me, because they will now be tied up for hours each day with kid things. The money is already spent, and I am sensitive to making the parents feel bad or abandoned. But I feel as if my trip has been ruined in advance. What’s the right move here? — Baited and Switched
There are three ways to manage this situation. The first will be to ask for the deposit back and explain you understood it was a children-free holiday. Second let go of the deposit and inform the couples to please keep the deposit as a gift for their children, and to count it as holiday and/or birthday gift.” Finally, I think I would encourage her to do her own thing and hang out with the parents and children when she felt like it. But I wouldn’t plan a vacation with them anymore. How would you manage this situation?
Real Life of an MSW 
I’d take your final option
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It is a good one, and the money has already been spent. Thanks for reading and commenting!
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I like your answers (and I really get annoyed when people abuse trust or agreements.)
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Yes, trust and agreements must be honored in friendships as that is the foundation upon which they are built. Thank you for reading and commenting.
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Very welcome
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Personally I lean towards #1 or #3 (she has to be honest with herself as to whether she will enjoy the trip if she’s resentful). #2 will just make them feel guilty which will ruin those friendships. If #3, the writer can probably salvage some adult time with friends in the evenings. And definitely avoid traveling with them in the future!
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I appreciate your insight into each of the options. Yes, they may feel guilty with option two, but that is not her emotion to hold, but there’s. This option could be a workable solution for her budget and provided even more insight on these friendships. Thanks for reading and commenting!
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It’s not a lethal rhythm! 🤷🏾♀️
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