Sunday Best: Growing up, did you have a set of clothes designated for church and outings, sometimes referred to as your “Sunday Best”? Clothes that were only to be worn during special occasions and never anyplace as ordinary as say, the library.
Positively Purging-I welcome your feedbacks in the comments and your likes and passing the real life wisdom on to others as I embark on this new venture of “positively purging“, as I know each of these pieces represents something…
Free Burning, author Bayo Ojikutu, (2006, 383 pages) If this were a hardcover book, I would have sworn someone mixed up the dust jacket. The synopsis on the jacket made me intrigued. It reads: “Tommie Simms was supposed to be the community hope, the young man from the neighborhood who made good. He attended a state university, married a respectable woman, and landed a position at a white-collar insurance firm. Tommie ignores the gnawing sense that he doesn’t belong on this path. . . Soon Tommie is laid off, and he begins to see himself as just another faceless entity on the city’s fringe. After each fruitless job interview, Tommie’s wife withdraws from him further, and in the mirror, he faces the reflection of failure his family never intended for him… ” Spoilers ahead. I didn’t finish this book. I pushed myself to read to page 50. In that time the protagonist is offered not one but two different employment opportunities. He doesn’t accept either despite having a newborn, a wife, and bills piling up. He states, “I set up interviews for Tuesdays morning, never earlier than 10 am, never later than noon.” (28) forgive me for sounding judgy, but that is a limited window of time to look for employment. Worse, he turns down one job because it’s outside his window. The boss called before 9:30 a.m. and offered $26,5000 plus benefits to save them. “I told him I had to talk to my wife about his glorious opportunity, and I hung up, laughing as I dropped back to the pillow.” I can’t help but think a college student or not would have negotiated pay or perhaps the pay was reasonable for that period. The other opportunity came when his own mother stated, “You want me to talk to my supervisor,” (she works at the FORD automobile plant). “I laugh and grab my buffalo wings (49).” Once again, he declined an opportunity to pivot and support himself and his family. I was done with the book and its protagonist, who clearly needed therapy to deal with depression and the burden of being a black man who made it out of the neighborhood, or a positive role model or support groups to teach him about adulting. I wished him well, but like with a real life toxic individual, I had to move on. Have you read this book?
Recognize that change will change you—and that’s empowering. Expand your possible selves. Practice self-compassion when change feels hard.— Take Action This Week: When you catch yourself resisting a change or feeling stuck, ask yourself: “Who might I become on the other side of this?” Instead of focusing on what you’re losing, imagine the new capabilities, values, or parts of your identity that this change might reveal.
Positively Purging-I welcome your feedbacks in the comments and your likes and passing the real life wisdom on to others as I embark on this new venture of “positively purging“, as I know each of these pieces represents something…
Some of the best Black women writers I know have journals no one has ever read. They write in the margins, notes apps, memos, diaries, scraps of paper and on the back of envelopes. Not for likes. Not for attention. For breath. For relief. For survival. Please remember, you are a writer—even if no one sees it but you. – Alice Joy
This stopped me in my scroll. As someone raised by Black women whose power lived in the unspoken — journals, prayers, stories told over pots of food — this hit home. There’s so much brilliance that exists outside the spotlight. Thank you for reminding us that writing is a form of survival, even when it’s invisible to the world. – Eric Adams
This just took my breath away. There’s something so sacred about writing for survival and for breath. This where the most honest, life-giving words come from. The image of words scattered across margins and envelope backs, written not for applause but for relief… that’s the purest form of the craft. Those invisible journals hold truths that could change the world. Thank you for seeing and honoring these writers, for validating that the act of putting pen to paper, whether anyone witnesses it or not. This is revolutionary in itself. This is exactly what I needed to hear today. – Sly
I’m not a black woman but I am lucky enough to have a woman of color as my best friend. We both keep journals and she recently told me about she intends to burn her journals before she dies. She explained to me that her inner thoughts are not for public consumption, including her family. We talked about our writing and how she and I share deep thoughts about our lives, the universe and everything in between. And she told me about how she needs to keep some aspects of her thoughts to herself. And that no other person is allowed access to that deep hearts core. I think she’s on to something here. Our secret selves core must remain secret =Elizabeth Gibbs
She is definitely on to something. We don’t have to share everything we write. Some writing is sacred and for our eyes only. This is how our journals remain a safe space. Thank you for sharing 💗Published Sistas
A little Monday reflection for you because, at 61, I can honestly say every experience, good, bad, or heartbreaking, has been a teacher guiding me to this moment.
When you’re young, failure feels final. But I’ve learned that failure is really opportunity. It’s a chance to take what you’ve lived through, weave it into who you are, and grow into someone new.
I didn’t always see it this way. It took years of living, learning, and yes, stumbling, to realize that every relationship, every season, even the ones that drained me, were shaping me into the woman I am today—and the one I’m still becoming.
Now, I try to lean into each chapter of life with intention, but also with openness and adventure. I embrace the ebb and flow, I live fully, and I love every stage for what it is.
I’m grateful for today and excited for the magic that tomorrow will bring – carla hall
Real Life of an MSW 