Real Life of an MSW

RANT to a sick airline passenger. To the woman who sat next to my husband in the middle seat on a flight to Seattle: because of your illness, you have made my husband and me very sick! Perhaps you could have worn your mask for the entire flight instead of the 10 minutes you chose. When you’re sick and you fly, have some consideration for your fellow passengers! 

RANT to airlines that pack us in like sardines and have seats installed that recline. My knees touch the seat back when the seat in front of me is upright. I’m not paying extra to get proper legroom like we used to get. And rant to the person in front of me who inevitably reclines all the way.

RANT to the woman who picked up my sunglasses at the self-checkout of a grocery store and told the assistant manager they were hers. Sweetheart, they will make you dizzy; they are prescription. Theft for no gain.

RANT to the ever-changing (and disappearing) options for returning purchases from an online retailer. We get it, you don’t want us to return things. But this makes me even less inclined to buy. If only there were a place I could touch and feel the items before I buy. We could call it … a store! Genius!

RANT to wind chimes. For all homeowners on small city lots who own wind chimes, this is less a rant than a humble request. Honestly, it’s a plea for help. Would you please give some thought to taking them down to help a neighbor who is in serious auditory distress? Their discordant noise is grating, a visceral irritant to my nervous system, old ears and ADHD brain. Think fingers running down a chalkboard. During the day, I so appreciate the sounds of weather, of pure wind whooshing, rain pattering; the spring calls of the chickadees; the merriment of kids playing in backyards; referee whistles at local playfields. I tolerate barking dogs and backup beeps of garbage trucks just fine. I am happy with the hum and rhythm of city life, natural and simple. However, wind chimes clanging at night make sleeping with the windows open virtually impossible. They stop and start with willy-nilly intervals and with absolutely no good sense for rhythm or reason. And by daytime, they are anything but melodic after they too have had a sleepless night putting their metal to the pedal on the graveyard shift. I have entertained bringing you cookies, making a cold call or coming in person to ask you sweetly, but as a stranger, yet your neighbor, I am a fearful chicken in these modern times.

RANT to the annoying salespeople who stood at my door, ringing the doorbell repeatedly and knocking. If a homeowner doesn’t come to the door after the first ring, then take a hint — leave! They either aren’t home, don’t want to talk to you, or are maybe even sleeping after working all night or trying to get a fussy baby down, etc. What makes you think that someone is going to purchase services from you after that?

RANT to businesses that don’t accept cash, I’ve been blindsided by this policy a couple of times recently. Very annoying, fool me once! Won’t be back.