What If….

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How Did You Get Here? It is a question I have answered and threaded throughout Real Life of an MSW. Therefore, I was happy to learn it is the core question of Kim Boguck’s the If Project and her documentary titled The If Project asks female inmates how they got there. Boguck started the project after she was asked to work with a group of girls whose mothers were incarcerated. Out of respect and to break the cycle of the generational curse that often surrounds many families, she was interested in meeting with the girls’ mothers first and asking their permission — and a version of her question. Her question was “If there was something somebody could have said or done to change the path that led you here, what would it be?”

When I read the following words of an inmate “I wish someone had told me that 10 seconds would cost me 10 years”, I could feel her insight. Some people get judged on the one thing they did for the rest of their lives. I am a firm believer that when you know better, you will learn to do better. Like Boguck, “I’m not saying, ‘Let everyone out of prison,’ and I don’t want to take away from a victim’s experience,” but hopefully, we are preventing future victims as this question is being asked of the next generation.

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After all the energy you put into something, letting them go is tough. But its right. Start communicating with people that matter. Relationships are fluid- people are moving in and out of the center of your life all the time, whether they realize it or not. The drifting is continuing with a troubled friend, and they seem farther away than ever. Value what they gave you and let them continue on their own path. Ultimately, we are all individuals who need to take our own journey. Is there someone special you lost touch with? Get in touch with them—even if its just to say a final goodbye -JP

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Positively Purging-I welcome your feedbacks in the comments and your likes and passing the real life wisdom on to others as I embark on this new venture of “positively purging“, as I know each of these pieces represents something…

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Spicy Zucchini Soup

Real Life of an MSW


I recently was invited to a  farm to table tasting. One of the courses  placed in front of me was a tiny insulting “bowl” of Spicy Zucchini soup. It was so damn good and if I wasn’t in public I most likely would have slurped up the two spoons. After consulting my Soup Bible, I come up with my own spin on the recipe. Welcome to summer

  • Olive oil
  • Onion, finely chopped
  • Quarter red bell pepper
  • Parmesan cheese rinds
  • 1 jalapeno
  • 3 chopped garlic cloves
  • 2 pounds chopped zucchini (skin on), about 4-5cups
  • Herbn’ Farm
  • 3 cups chicken broth
  • 1 cup milk
  • 4-5 mint leaves
  • ¼ cup fresh cilantro
  • 1 potato or 1 1/2 cups chopped day-old bread

Directions : Heat the olive oil in a large Dutch oven over medium-high heat. In food processor add onion, garlic, bell pepper and jalapeno (this is mirepoix) Add mirepoix to Dutch oven in…

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Sex Appeal

If you’re given the choice between money and sex appeal, take the money. As you get older, the money will become your sex appeal.-Katharine Hepburn

Positively Purging-I welcome your feedbacks in the comments and your likes and passing the real life wisdom on to others as I embark on this new venture of “positively purging“, as I know each of these pieces represents something

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You are six steps away from your goal

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You are six steps away from your goal. So am I. So is everyone.  Regardless of our circumstances, career paths, or past accomplishments, we are all six steps away. But here’s the kicker: We can never see more than one step ahead.

It goes like this. Whatever you’re doing right now, let’s call it Step 1. And you’re desperate to know where Step 6 is, because that’s your goal. You think that Step 6 is ultimate happiness — the end of the path, the big payoff, the place of glory! But…where is it? You can’t see it. Is it over there, to your left? A little to your right? You don’t know. And so you might feel frozen at Step 1, fearful that your next move could be the wrong one — that it could move you away from Step 6.But look closer: You actually can see something ahead. You can see one step ahead. That’s all you get; you can see Step 2. And is Step 2 amazing and perfect and satisfying? Nah. Maybe it’s an entry-level job, or a better-­but-not-perfect job, or a minimum viable product you could put out into the world, or the launch of a company you don’t know will succeed, or whatever. It doesn’t matter. It’s just Step 2 — it’s not supposed to be perfect.

So you take Step 2. And you learn from Step 2. You discover more about yourself and your path and what you want and what you love. And then, lo and behold, you can see one step ahead again! Now you see Step 3! You couldn’t have seen Step 3 back at Step 1, but you see it now because you’d moved to Step 2.

So you take the next step. And you repeat. And if you keep going, you’ll eventually reach Step 6 and discover that Step 6 isn’t actually the ultimate goal anyway — because there is no ultimate goal. That’s why Jeff Bezos didn’t declare victory when Amazon became the world’s biggest company, or why Oprah wasn’t content hosting a hit daytime talk show. As we progress, new achievements seem possible. New goals take shape. Step 6, it turns out, is actually just the beginning of a new path.

This is how we move. This is how we succeed. We do it one step at a time — learning and growing along the way, sure of nothing except the power of progress. Don’t know what direction to go in? Just pick one. Do it. Step. Move. Right now. You’ll learn so much, including which step to take next. –Jason Feifer


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