My 87-year-old mother and 93-year-old father are sharing a hospital room, as he nears the end of his life.
My oldest sister (the only child living nearby) deals with everything.
During our most recent text exchange, my sister first told me how dire dad’s health is, and then insisted that he can recover.
Having been through something similar with my late husband, I know he will not. I suggested that she talk to someone about what dad will likely experience during palliative care, and that my mother might benefit from talking to a hospital chaplain about deciding between hospice or continuing with treatment.
I also said I will support my sister regardless of what path is chosen for his care, that I know how hard a decision like this can be, but that sometimes the most loving thing we can do is to let a person go.
My sister snapped back that a priest had prayed healing prayers over both parents that day.
Praying over someone is not the same as sitting down and conversing, and my father is not going to “heal.”
I thanked her for letting me know and ended our conversation.
Do you think my best option is to simply thank her for any updates, and keep my mouth shut about everything else?
I want to help her through this.
Dear Upset: You’ve been through this with your husband’s death. Now imagine managing two parents’ end-of-life care. That’s what your sister is dealing with.
I suggest that the “healing prayers” may actually be for her benefit – and I hope they help.
You have the right to share your thoughts, but she is at their bedside. Ask her how you can be most helpful. If possible, you should travel to be with them in order to support all of them.
Real Life of an MSW 
Prayer may not be physically helpful for the patient, but can make the caregiver feel she has “done everything possible”, which is comforting. Probably best to be supportive rather than confrontational, as you suggest. Everyone deals with worry and grief in their own way.
LikeLiked by 1 person
“Everyone deals with worry and grief in their own way.” That is the takeaway from this query, and everyone should be supported if they are not causing harm to themselves or others. Thanks for reading and commenting.
LikeLike
yes, never get in between someone’s faith. As a matter of fact the unbelievers got put out remember. Where there is faith there is no room for doubt. Palliative care and hospice are so wicked. They’re taught to keep them drugged up as to provide comfort when you already know that they’re organs are too weak to handle the opioid that you’re pushing, all in the phase of “keeping them comfortable” not to mention how much is being billed for every drip that is going through that IV! Healthcare is so wicked.
LikeLiked by 2 people
“Where there is faith there is no room for doubt. “What a beautiful line of truth. I was glad to read that the words allowed you a moment to pause, ponder, reflect, and share your opinion. Thanks for reading and commenting!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome
LikeLiked by 1 person