I just can’t come to grips with the new style phone etiquette where you send a direct question or comment to someone (texts mainly, or emails, messenger, etc.) and it seems now optional to answer or respond, or at best get a “liked…” or a smiley face wearing sunglasses in reply.

My communications are important, take thoughtful effort to compose and like in the old days, you’re supposed to call the person back. I’m not talking about silly status posts on Instagram; this is two-way conversation and so many people interpret a texting response as optional!

Is it just me or is this an epidemic that is killing courtesy and good manners in modern society? What should I do, fire my friends and family? It’s tempting.– Text Back

Dear Text Back: Well, I wouldn’t go so far as to label it an epidemic. But it’s true that texting etiquette – and texting practices in general – can lead to miscommunication and frustration. Because it’s relatively new, at least in comparison to the telephone or, say, writing letters, we’re still iterating on it as a culture.

All that to say, don’t fire your friends and family. If you want a text back about sometime specific, include that request in the text. Or consider having a broader conversation with friends and family about how you’d like to communicate. It’s good to ask for what we want. They may not always be willing or able to comply, but they won’t know this is something you’d like unless you tell them.

And, when all else fails, just don’t text. If you have something to say, you can initiate the phone call, thereby sidestepping any emojis.