I do hereby solemnly swear:
that I will not look down on truncated to-go menus, but rather regard them as a sensible way to optimize goodness;
that I will avoid ordering hot sandwiches with lettuce on them because that’s just not going to end well at home;
that I will eat my french fries as soon as it is safe to take off my mask, i.e., as quickly as I can get 6 feet from others or into the car, for cold french fries do a disservice to us all; 
that I will follow any and all cooking or reheating instructions carefully in order to give the food a fighting chance;
that I will tip generously, for times are tough;
and that I will not leave negative Yelp reviews because I am not a jerk who kicks people when they’re down.