I am a recently divorced woman. I started a new job about six months ago. I am in middle management and enjoy the work very much.
One of my (male) colleagues has asked me around three times what my marital status is.
Normally I’m pretty open about my life, but this query puts me off. I’ve dodged the question, but I’m wondering how you think I should handle it.– Curious Colleague
Dear Curious: Don’t dodge. This is a natural instinct, but dodging just pushes this down the road.
If he brings up your marital status again, you could respond with the classic: “Why do you keep asking me this?”
Understand that when you do so, you open yourself up to his (possibly disingenuous) answer.
Regardless of how he responds, you should state: “That’s personal, and I don’t want to discuss it. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t bring this up again.”
Stating that this personal curiosity bothers you should end it.
He needs to back all the way off. If he persists after you ask him to stop, he cannot claim that these are stray remarks, and your co-worker is opening himself up to violating company policy and a possible harassment claim.
Real Life of an MSW 
Good advice – especially to focus on the process rather than the issue
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Thanks for reading and commenting!
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Or she could joke about it, e.g., “Why? Are you in love with me already?”
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Her joke may open the door for future harassment and flirting, as there is often a bit of truth in every joke. Thanks for reading and commenting!
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Fair point. I was thinking that diffusing the situation with humor might be better received than a confrontation. In my first “real” job in my 20’s — many years ago — I was routinely harassed and I learned that there are ways to make your point without making enemies. Just sayin’.
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I agree with you, but she already told this poor guy three times she is NOT interested in sharing her personal life…
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Boundaries. MUST have!
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Boundaries are the safety belt of life!
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