The S.T.A.R.S Framework for conversations around sexual health and intimacy:

Sexual health: For example, when were you last tested for STIs? Which STIs were you tested for? Have you tested positive for one?

Turn-ons: What are you into sexually? What would you be open to trying and when?

Avoids: What would you like to avoid? Maybe you don’t want to be physically intimate if you have had too much to drink, for example.

Relationship intentions and expectations: Maybe you’re looking for a monogamous relationship. Or maybe you’re more interested in a casual, consistent connection.

Safety needs: Share what you need to feel safe, physically and emotionally. For example, maybe you’re not comfortable spending the night together yet.

The best time to raise the topic of STIs with a potential sexual partner is before your clothes come off (though, of course, it’s never too late to discuss sexual health and boundaries.)