I found out about my miscarriage in an email, the morning after my ultrasound. Spontaneous abortion. I was told that a heating pad, aspirin, and rest would help soothe the pain. When I spoke to a friend, she asked, “What else does your body need?”
I was used to stifling sorrow, shooing away sadness— what I needed was to scream. “So do it,” my friend said. We lived in New York City, where every inch of space is shared with strangers, walls are paper-thin, every uttered word has a witness. She offered up her rooftop pool. “Being underwater is like being in space— no one can hear you scream,” she insisted. I felt embarrassed at first: Toddlers throw tantrums and wail. But I needed an outlet.
So I forced myself under, pushing against the side of the pool. The tears disappeared in the chlorinated water, and the wails rose up as bubbles. Submerge. Scream. Cry. Rise. Repeat. Each time, I resurfaced lighter. — Jessica Ciencin Henriquez
Real Life of an MSW 
What an insensitive notification
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I too had those thoughts, what terrible bedside manners. I was so glad to read she had wonderful external support, outside of her health care team.
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That’s a true friend. Sorry for your loss. We will never understand why certain things happen; we can ask in our next realm.
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This is not my story, but one I felt I needed to re-share, so individuals know they are not alone. I also found it a good reminder for one to lean into their system of support during painful times. Thank you for reading.
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Although the only water I get in my 🛀 or 🚿, I do like the message!
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I too like the message of leaning into your support system, and clearly stating what you need.
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