A friend of mine was recently diagnosed with ovarian cancer. The problem: She hasn’t told me. (I overheard her husband talking about it: Her illness was discovered during routine medical tests. She was having a hard time getting pregnant — which she also didn’t tell me.) I thought we were close, but I guess we’re not. Her decision to exclude me from these issues in her life hurts me and puts me in an awkward situation. What can I say if I’m not supposed to know about these big challenges she’s facing? I’m not sure how to handle this. Advice, please? K.H.
Reading this I understand both sides, perhaps the friend is trying to process this news, and she doesn’t want to be treated differently. Most individuals with a diagnosis want to be treated normally as possible, and that is their right, because no matter how hard you try once the news is out, things will change. I do understand the friend also feeling hurt, and believing if they have a true friendship, her friend should be openly sharing. However, like Philip, said, this is not about her feelings, and she should be there for her friend, and support her until she is ready. What are your thoughts?