Murphy’s law: “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong!”
If you’re in the middle of a home remodel, let me warn you Murphy’s Law is coming along for the ride and he will unpack his luggage and become the most expensive, loathed house guest you have ever had. Before I share my big reveal, I have to share my maddening adventures with Murphy.
- Murphy pushed my spouse, making him accidently break a cabinet door. We learned you just can’t go into a big box store and pick a new one. Five stores and one week later, they (yes,you can’t just buy one!) were delivered, with a price tag of $130.20 for the pair. Beautiful, blessed nightmare.
- Murphy made me forget to ask the right questions. My contractor asked me if I order bullnose tile for my backsplash. I was like “What?” and he was like “You know, to start the brick laying pattern you want.” I did not order such a thing. He looked annoyed, but brilliantly showed me a few patterns and got to work. The new pattern would take twice as long. Beautiful, blessed nightmare.
- Murphy tried to kill me. Our range had to be moved again. I have lost count of how many times our range has been disconnected and put back over the years. Well, I do remember the time my spouse had to buy a replacement part and fix it; but this time the gas range was giving us the middle finger. One of the eyes refused to work and the air vent started leaking oil. The cost of a new one: $776.32 , plus STOPPING all work while we waited for the gas company to come out and check things. Beautiful, blessed nightmare.
- Murphy tried to break the dishwasher. The counter went in perfectly, but somehow the pressure damaged the dishwasher’s upper bracket. Had to order a new part: $37.25. Beautiful, blessed nightmare
- Murphy broke the NEW faucet. A day after the new faucet was installed; we found a puddle of water. I’ll spare you the details of me freaking out on the plumber, but it turned out our fancy faucet was malfunctioning and a new faucet had to be ordered. Beautiful, blessed nightmare.
- Murphy turned my good contractor evil. We had to fire our contractor after he tried to demand more money, arrived late, and left when he felt like it. This in turn left us with several little jobs. Where is Holmes at Home when I really need him? A beautiful, blessed nightmare.
- Murphy turned me into the crazy woman and almost gave me an anxiety attack. Okay, let me take a deep breath, rewind, and tell you the whole story. We knew we wanted a new kitchen faucet, but wanted to keep our sink. After all, it had served us well for over a decade. The counter store assured us we would want an under mount sink. My spouse and I still agreed the sink stays. She smiled and said okay. Then came the damn measurer, who started talking to me about seams and plumbing. He made all good points to purchase an under mount sink. He also informed me if I was going get a new sink, I had to do it by Friday and bring it into the store so they could cut the template. I had three days to buy a sink (real life moment: it is really easy to get caught up in “well, we already started why not buy this and this.” Don’t unless it’s really necessary and makes sense in the long run, it will ruin your budget.) Here’s the deal. You just can’t buy an under mount sink. I already boycotted Home Depot, Lowe’s once again had limited selection, the counter store had them, but with a huge mark-up. That evening I found one on Houzz that my spouse agreed was fine. I went to order it, and shipping was five to nine days. I would have to reschedule my install appointment, which was not an option at $500 per reschedule. So, I emailed the manufacturer and they did not have expedited shipping. Then my spouse and I spent an evening sitting on the sofa playing the game “you find 10 sinks you like, I find 10 I like” and we meet in the middle. My spouse rolled his eyes and agreed. I felt as if we were on a dating web site for sinks and faucets as we swiped left or right and honed and awed and booed and had a few mouth dropping moments. In the end, Amazon to the rescue. We found our sink and were promised it would be there in two Amazon Prime days (side note: buying a sink is just buying a sink. The sink strainer and garbage disposal flange kit were not included- that was an extra $47.07. Who knew?). Two days passed and no sink. Oh, let’s just say I had a meltdown. My tantrum was worse than my little garden club member who earlier in the day freaked out because he had stepped on his lettuce. Thank God for spouses. My spouse, sweet as he is, assured me that we could go out and buy a sink and then return the Amazon sink. I wailed “No, I wanted that sink!” (real life moment, home renovation brings out the worst in you). I called Amazon and let them know as sweetly as I could that I was a very upset customer and not pleased with their lack of two day service. She promised it would be there Friday. I wanted to have it there Thursday evening, as Friday I had the plumber coming, two classes to teach, clients to see, garden club, and rounds at the hospital. When was I going find time to do it on Friday?! Beautiful, blessed nightmare.
I share this with you because this is real life, but also to let you know if you’re thinking remodel, Murphy is coming for you. Pack your patience and good booze and know that he is not leaving without causing some damage. Damn it, Murphy!