The Money Shrink

No couple can have a healthy relationship if they’re not discussing money matters.


Flipping through channels, I came across some talk show where the woman said to the host “When I go on a first date. I tend to ask the guy what his credit score is. Then he never calls me back.” The host replied, “You should see how much he tips instead.” I nodded in agreement and flipped the channel. However, it did leave me thinking people often do not talk openly about finances. It is a very important conversation and I think these questions will help ease the awkwardness.

  • What scares you about money? That you won’t have enough, or that you won’t make the most of what you have. List the people who could teach you how to manage those concerns- a fiscally savvy friend, a therapist, a finical advisor, a credit counselor.
  • What is your philanthropic track record- do you support a pet cause or donate only when Girl Scots or coworkers come knocking? Which Charites are you passionate about? How much could you comfortably send them each month?
  • What was your family’s financial situation when you were growing up? What was the prevailing attitude about money? Write down what’s positive about your family’s financial values and what could stand to be left behind?

What questions do you think are worth asking?!?





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7 Responses to The Money Shrink

  1. B. says:

    … Tricky topic… On first (second and so on dates I’d rather not talk about money..; I really find … well yes.. vulgar… but you can have a rough idea without asking direct questions. At the beginning, I focus more on personality and if I like the person in general or not. When the relationship gets closer and stronger yes, it’s something one has to talk about.. and I’ve never had problems until the last relationship where the guy got weird about this. But, oh well… he was weird about many other things that I found out later, so… I ended things… So, talking abou it, yes, in the early stages? Hmm.. I’d say no..

    Liked by 2 people

  2. A very important point. First and third I’d say are most important, but, as you well know, it is far more complex than that. As the eldest of five, born in the middle of World War II, I have a much more relaxed attitude to money than I would have expected.

    Liked by 1 person

    • msw blog says:

      Yes, money is a complex topic. I think a couple needs to start the conversation right after they agree their exclusive. Then never stop talking about money because one beliefs and thoughts change overtime…

      Liked by 1 person

  3. @vapor_sage says:

    Shared values are key. I grew into a person that perceived that Money does not equate to happiness and often becomes quite the opposite. For me, it comes and goes. I recognize that I may have migrated toward being too risky when it comes to dealing with money and that should be expressed early in a relationship. It became evident late in my marriage and was the death nail that could not be overcome.

    Liked by 1 person

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