Never Marry an Unsolved Problem

That’s Rule No. 1 for preventing relationship misery. Don’t proceed even one more step toward marriage until you’ve addressed your doubts.

Rule No. 2: Don’t rely solely on your own explanations for other people’s behavior when they are available to explain it themselves. Not as an interrogation, just a conversation. It’s not about control or change, it’s just about your getting to know each other (much) better. And understanding your relationship.

Rule No. 3: Don’t assign negative values to things that are merely different. This applies even to ourselves. Have you thought about why you’ve applied the worst interpretations to your own nature?

Rule No. 4: Hold out for true intimacy — which means saying the things that scare you, not hiding out in your like-minded friends and your hobbies. If you don’t feel safe enough to be vulnerable, then either you’re not ready for an intimate relationship or you’re not with the right partner. Or both. All of which are fine, as long as you’re honest with yourself about that and adjust your relationships accordingly.

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8 Responses to Never Marry an Unsolved Problem

  1. Good rules. So often in love we dismiss our doubts

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Wynne Leon says:

    Great rules, well said!

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Miriam says:

    Very wise rules. It’s all about knowing yourself. And your own worth.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. This is an entire sermon! It needs to stay on repeat.


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