Your answer to this question will give you insight both on how you listen and how you like to be heard.

A friend says to you with urgency, “I need a pineapple. Do you have one?”

You’ve got none. You say:

     a) “I have no pineapples.”

     b) “I have no pineapples. Would you like to know what I do have?”

     c) “I’ve got some plums. Do you want those?”

     d) “Why do you need a pineapple?”

Which answer do you like and which would drive you nuts (if you were the pineapple pursuer)? (Mine are B and D respectively).

Do you know why you like what you like? How do you respond when a loved one wants a different type of response than the one you like to give (or the one you like to hear)?

The more clarity we have on both of those things, along with the flexibility to move with different ways of being in our relationships, the easier things become.