I may be hopelessly old-fashioned at 73 years old, but when my children were young and received a gift, I gave them notecards, stamps, addresses, and explained the ways a “thank you” could be worded.
I encouraged them to include information about their lives, school, etc. It seems that now parents don’t care enough to teach their children to acknowledge a gift. I’ve been chastised for discontinuing to send cards/gifts/money to young people past the age of 15, who never thank me, or even acknowledge a gift.
I am frustrated that I am forced to contact the recipient simply to hear the excuse, “Oh yeah, I got it. Thanks”. Am I wrong for expecting a “thank you”, and setting the consequences?
Dear Giver: Social mores may change but the words “thank you” still mean the same thing. You’re not asking a lot and if your relatives can’t teach their kids to respect your boundary and acknowledge your gift, then you don’t owe it to them.
Fifteen is old enough to learn the value of healthy communication and gratitude. Besides, it’s important to remember that relationships, especially with older relatives, aren’t ATMs. Hold the line!

I’m just a couple of years behind you, and I have the same feelings.
When I was a middle school English teacher, I always had the same lesson the day the kids came back to school from Christmas break: Thank you notes. After explaining the form and content of a good thank you note, I had them each write a note for something they got for Christmas. When I had corrected and graded them, I gave them each a note card for the final draft. They then learned the correct way to address an envelope. (You may or may not be surprised how many kids these days have never mailed a letter of any kind.) For most of the students, this was a new experience, but I didn’t hear any complaints.
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This is not my query, but one I felt worth sharing particularly this time of year. I love your academic lesson; it is one more schools should teach. I am not surprised how many children/young adults cannot address an envelope, and/or write a check. I find neither skill completely antiquated and a necessary life skill. —Thanks for taking the time to read, share andcomment!
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