Zenzele a Letter to my Daughter

“The advice of the mother to Zenzele – as you go to new places, do not forget where you came from, respect your ancestors and culture, as that made you what you are. Assimilation in a new place should not mean cutting your ties or deriding your origins.”

Zenzele a Letter to my Daughter by J.Nozipo Maraire, (1996, 194 pages). This is an insightful short novel, told in the form of letters from a Zimbabwean. Shiri, the mother, tells stories from her own life and lives of those around her while the daughter is studying abroad at Harvard. As you might expect, the book doesn’t have a traditional plot, Each chapter (letter) contains a conversation between the mother to her daughter, giving her some life lessons, so she doesn’t lose her roots, her culture, and the values her family and village have instilled in her before her flight to America. “Each chapter has its own focus teaching change and embracing it even when it hurts! There are so many layers to understand and relate to things we can connect to our world today. The characters are quite vivid, including Shiri. The author does a fantastic job of characterizing her through her writing, which is gentle but profound and expertly crafted: the imagery is vivid. The look into life in Zimbabwe is fascinating, giving a sense of the history while keeping the focus on the characters’ experiences. It is notable that there is really only one point of view represented here – we know what the mother (narrator) thinks about things and we see her trying to understand other people, but her struggles to empathise and to comprehend viewpoints that are alien to her are as close as we get to hearing a contrasting point of view. This is perhaps most movingly expressed in her struggles with the alienation she felt following the death of her first lover and the awareness that all depictions of the Gods and angels had white skin. It is also thrown into sharp relief in the stories of a friend who became a freedom fighter and a cousin who was regularly beaten by her husband but refused to leave him. This single perspective and struggle to understand others’ points of view from this perspective, is partly what, I think, gives the novel its strength. And as this simplicity of viewpoint and the attempts of the modern world to destroy and confound it are a central theme to the novel.Overall, a gem of a book that made me think about the kinds of stories that are told about Africa and why that might be.

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Enhancing Kids’ Social Skills

With the holidays approaching, TikTok has been serving me an endless stream of toy ads, but one made me stop scrolling. It was an ad for video walkie-talkies, basically FaceTime screens. My first thought was “Oh, my children would love this.” But as my finger hovered over the shopping cart, I found myself wondering whether my children have been missing out on a key developmental skill.

My children are 10, 9, 7 and 6, and I can probably count on two hands how many times they’ve had a phone call with someone. They FaceTime their grandparents every week and use talk-to-text without thinking twice. But can they hold a real-time conversation without relying on facial expressions and body language? On the phone, a layer of interaction exists underneath the words themselves. You hear someone breathe. You notice a pause and try to figure out what that silence means. You pick up on hesitations or warmth or tension or humor or uncertainty.

With a traditional walkie-talkie, children have to follow a system. They press the button to talk and release it to listen. They learn to listen closely, be patient and use a shared language like “copy” or “over” as part of the back-and-forth. It may sound simple, but there are real skills hiding in that exchange. If they are looking at each other on a screen, none of those skills ever come into play.

I am a millennial, so I grew up talking for hours on the phone. With anxiety rising in younger generations, I cannot help but think these conversations mattered more than we understood.

Kate Cunningham, Elyria, Ohio

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car safety

DON’T slam the brakes if you have engine trouble on the highway. If your car stalls or runs out of gas on the road, put your hazard lights on right away and release the accelerator, Carias says. “Try to veer to the right shoulder of the freeway and come to a safe stop,” then call roadside assistance or 911. 

DON’T accelerate or slam the brakes if you’re skidding on ice. “Once you’ve already started sliding, you’re kind of going along for the ride,” Carias says. Cautiously turn your wheel in the direction you want the car to go, and straighten the wheel as you feel the car straighten out, according to AAA.

DO hop into the passenger seat while waiting for help in the right shoulder lane. It can be safer than sitting in the driver’s seat. You want to position yourself as far away from traffic as possible. And buckle up, Carias says.

DON’T turn on your high beams in heavy fog. “Fog is essentially water molecules. Shining bright light at those molecules is just going to reflect that light back to you and make it harder to see,” Carias says. Instead, turn on your headlights and fog lamps if you have them.

DO unbuckle your seatbelt and start to roll down the windows the moment your car falls into a body of water. “Don’t try to open the door,” Carias says. Once a vehicle is more fully submerged, the pressure from the water against the windows and doors can make it difficult to open them.

Escape through the open window and exit to safety. If you can’t roll down the window, “do your best to shatter the window using your elbow or whatever you can,” Carias says. For peace of mind, purchase a window punch to keep in your car.

DO keep emergency supplies in your car. That includes a first aid kit, water, jumper cables, a flashlight and blankets, Carias says. AAA also recommends keeping a basic set of tools and road flares or reflectors. 

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Communicate honestly

Instead of lashing out in anger, I’d write my spouse a letter explaining why I was hurt and put it on his desk,” recalled Valerie Wilson Wesley, a Manhattan author married for 51 years who penned a dating column when she was executive editor at Essence magazine. “Putting what was wrong into words allowed me to get what I was feeling straight. He’d usually take a few days to mull it over before he’d respond with his own letter, often starting with “I’m sorry,” explaining his side. Then we’d forgive each other.”

Positively Purging-I welcome your feedbacks in the comments and your likes and passing the real life wisdom on to others as I embark on this new venture of “positively purging“, as I know each of these pieces represents something…

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wildcard condiment

We all know how to use ketchup. But what about tahini? Furikake? Chili crisp? Try a wildcard condiment

Positively Purging-I welcome your feedbacks in the comments and your likes and passing the real life wisdom on to others as I embark on this new venture of “positively purging“, as I know each of these pieces represents something…

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