Fertility

My best friend is trying to conceive, but so far it hasn’t worked out. How can I elaborate and share milestones about my kids without making my friend feel bad?

Sharing your children’s milestones is fun but do so in the same way you would another family member’s accomplishments. Then make an effort to be engaged with your friend’s life updates so that you cheer her on as she does for you and your family. I found infertility to be a confusing and oftentimes isolating process. I really appreciated when friends would listen and ask me which step of the process, I was in so that they would have a clear view of when I was experiencing a down fall or a moment to celebrate –Amy Kirhara Hendricks

The best way to move forward in any area we’re not sure about is to ask questions. Open a conversation with your friend, let them know about your hesitation, and allow them to weigh in. It can be as simple as, “hey I’d like to check in with you. They’d love to celebrate with you, or perhaps it feels like too much. Knowing helps you move forward without guessing. Let them know you’re always open to reassessing in the future. Also be sure to have conversations and bonding experiences that have nothing to do with children. Create space for your friendships – Dr. Joy Harden Bradford

Communicate openly and honestly with your friend about your family and theirs. The fact that they’re struggling with infertility doesn’t mean they’re not excited for you. Sharing your joy is important, and you can do that while being an empathic friend. While the thing I wanted most was support during our fertility journey, that never once diminished my excitement to joy for my friends and family who were celebrating their own growing families. Still as you talk about your own news and listen to theirs, I would avoid comments like “It will all be fine’ or everything is going to work out” Dave DiGiacomo 

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