Mothers and daughters often share a complicated relationship with hair. The desire for neatness can cause pain while expressing care. When I was young, I would protest when my Filipina mother curled my hair. It made her so frustrated that she would sometimes scream. Later, I would find her quietly crying behind my Barbie house. She never apologized, but her tears wiped the slate clean until the next tit for tat. It wasn’t until I was older that I realized she, an immigrant in a challenging country, wanted me to look perfect to protect me from the cruelty of the world. — Jacqueline Ostrowicki