A simple way to retread your relationship is looking for opportunities to create rituals around the times during the day and week that the two of you come together. When you reunite after work or daily errands, consider sitting with a cup of tea (or glass of wine) and talking without distraction for 10 minutes before you jump into dinner preparation. Look for chances to start a new routine—bonus points if they engage your five senses. Maybe you visit the bagel shop together every Saturday morning, carpool to a martial arts class, or walk through your neighborhood at dusk. 

The key is that by repeating the same pattern every morning, evening, week, or month, you create a connection ritual that helps something ordinary become special—or even sacred. You’re turning toward each other, intentionally. And by slowing down and noticing the experience during the ritual, what researchers call “savoring,” you can become more mindful and appreciative of the relationship. What we practice becomes stronger.