The S.T.A.R.S Framework for conversations around sexual health and intimacy:
Sexual health: For example, when were you last tested for STIs? Which STIs were you tested for? Have you tested positive for one?
Turn-ons: What are you into sexually? What would you be open to trying and when?
Avoids: What would you like to avoid? Maybe you don’t want to be physically intimate if you have had too much to drink, for example.
Relationship intentions and expectations: Maybe you’re looking for a monogamous relationship. Or maybe you’re more interested in a casual, consistent connection.
Safety needs: Share what you need to feel safe, physically and emotionally. For example, maybe you’re not comfortable spending the night together yet.
The best time to raise the topic of STIs with a potential sexual partner is before your clothes come off (though, of course, it’s never too late to discuss sexual health and boundaries.)
I see my Abuelita’s screened door swinging in my mind’s eye: sunlight piercing through the mosquito net, the scent of warm tortillas in the air. Even at 4, I know that Abuelita is not rich, not like my other, Italian grandmother. Now, over three decades later, my Abuelita’s screened door inhabits my dreams. I hear its constant opening and closing as a parade of aunts, uncles, cousins and chickens stream through. Abuelita’s home in Honduras is my first home, the home of my heart, the one where closing doors never mean “goodbye,” but, rather, “see you soon.” — Cindy Lamothe
Positively Purging-I welcome your feedbacks in the comments and your likes and passing the real life wisdom on to others as I embark on this new venture of “positively purging“, as I know each of these pieces represents something…
What is the most uninformative statement that people are inclined to make? My nominee would be “I love to travel.” This tells you very little about a person, because nearly everyone likes to travel; and yet people say it, because, for some reason, they pride themselves both on having travelled and on the fact that they look forward to doing so.
Positively Purging-I welcome your feedbacks in the comments and your likes and passing the real life wisdom on to others as I embark on this new venture of “positively purging“, as I know each of these pieces represents something…
Oversized plants are a fun way to add lots of green to your space all at once, but it’s important to choose the right one. “If you’re looking to show off to your friends with a huge statement plant, you need to get your hands on my favorite, the monstera deliciosa,” says Griffith, because it’s easy to care for, inexpensive for its size and fast-growing. He recommends finding a “large form” monstera – which will have shorter gaps between nodes on the stem, a sign that it can reach a bigger size.
Certain types of dracaenas can also get quite tall. Plus, they’re relatively affordable and can tolerate most light conditions. If you really have your heart set on something like a fiddle-leaf fig, Griffith recommends opting for a rubber tree instead. “The rubber tree is in the same genus, the ficus,” he explains, “but is much more forgiving than the temperamental fiddle-leaf fig.”
Reading this, I thought that this post needs multiple disclaimers. The disclaimers should read “Must have ample space- read over a thousand square foot of space, cathedral ceilings, floor to ceiling windows, or a home full of natural light.” “Bigger plants are heavy, and time consuming. They require TIME, as they need repotting, cleaning, plant food, and not only watering, but some love the spritz of water.” “Plants are like babies. They start off cute but grow to be wild and beautiful. Therefore think about buying small and watching your plant grow.” Please note, if you meet these requirements, you can handle a bigger plant. I speak from experience as I have an “urban indoor jungle”. I own not one but two monstera deliciosa, two fiddle-leaf figs, and two rubber trees. I have no idea why I have purchased two of each. What I do know is Monstera deliciosa loves to be spritzed and my fiddle leaf figs do not. The latter require a shower (read rolled onto the front porch and hose down)every season to remove the dust from their leaves, leaving me to hand dry EVERY leaf as the leaves cannot remain wet. Then they need food and soil, each requiring something different. There are always surprises like repotting, new growth, and water changes. If you still want to buy a statement plant, you have been warned.
“As I came into myself as a young Black woman, I realized there’s a whole type of person and human experience that is just not onscreen. That really pushed me toward what I do now, which is tell stories about people you don’t often see stories about.” – Nia DaCosta
Positively Purging-I welcome your feedbacks in the comments and your likes and passing the real life wisdom on to others as I embark on this new venture of “positively purging“, as I know each of these pieces represents something…
