True generosity is when you give as much to yourself as you give of yourself.

A gift you purchase that you can’t pay off in full when the credit card bill arrives is not generous.

Spending money on gifts when that means you don’t have any money to put toward building your emergency fund, or retirement savings is not generous.

Giving money to family members, or a charity, because you know they need it, is not generous if it puts your own financial security at risk.

Giving your time when you could use some quiet time for yourself is not generous.

My wish for you this holiday season is that you find a few quiet moments to think through how you can be truly generous.

If you can buy presents without falling behind on financial goals, that’s great. Just remind yourself that what you spend is not at all reflective of what matters: The connection to that person.

That’s not selfish. And don’t you dare be ashamed. You are standing in the truth of what is real for you today! And c’mon, you know there are so many other ways to gift. Volunteer with an organization you support, if you have the time to give. Offer your time to a friend or family member. Make it a fun gift certificate, for whatever you come up with: X hours of babysitting. X hours of yard/gardening help. Or create a set, scheduled ritual: We will go out for a walk every week at X time. Or meet for a coffee. The idea here is to let the other person know you want to carve out real time with them, and that will only happen if you both make it a part of your schedule.