My mother and father are in their early 70s. I’m very close with both of them.

There have been changes to their health over time, with wearing hearing aids, walking more slowly, etc., but I’ve noticed that my mother is getting a little more forgetful lately.

The changes aren’t earth shattering, usually just repeating a recent question or forgetting an answer she’s just received.

What’s the “right” way to deal with this when it happens?

Do I say, “You just asked that” Or, “I just told you that?”

Or is the proper thing to do, to just ignore the fact that it’s repetitive and simply just answer the question again?

I don’t want to remind her that she’s getting older.

– Faithful Child

Dear Faithful: Your mother knows she’s getting older. She feels the passage of time in large and small ways – every day.

And – I have news for you: Getting older is not a bad or shameful topic that must be avoided. Getting older, quite simply, is the privilege of continuing to live in the world.

The way to respond to your mother’s forgetfulness is with the utmost patience, followed by a trip to the doctor.

Losing one’s memory is a deep and essential fear, and this fear can prevent people from seeking an early diagnosis or treatment for cognitive changes that might be treatable. Your mother’s forgetfulness might be the result of a change of medication, a need for medication, or another treatable or benign cause.