take timeouts when emotions run high. Once conversations become flooded with emotion, productive communication shuts down. Taking a short break — with a clear agreement to return to the issue — can prevent arguments from becoming destructive. Whoever calls the timeout has to reinitiate the conversation within 24 hours. Use the timeout to calm down and figure out what the other person was trying to communicate, not to consider how you’ll prove them wrong when you reengage.

Practice active listening. Feeling understood often matters more than being agreed with. Take turns talking about your perspective for no more than two minutes each. When you’re speaking, be careful in your language, and when it’s their turn, don’t interrupt or talk over them. When you’re listening, try to focus on understanding your partner, not defending yourself. Take a minute to repeat back what you heard to make sure you understood them correctly before giving your perspective.

Don’t avoid conflict so completely that resentment builds. Keeping the peace by staying silent may feel safer in the moment, but over time it creates emotional distance and bitterness. Separations and divorces occur more commonly as a result of deaths by a thousand cuts rather than a huge, one-time blow-up.