Dinner Conversation: Boundaries

Posted on November 27, 2025 by msw blog

Even with the best intentions, someone might push. They might ask the question you said you wouldn’t answer. They might make the comment that crosses the line.

Here are some responses that hold your boundary without burning the house down:

“I appreciate your concern, but I’m not discussing that today.” “That’s personal, and I’m keeping it that way.” “I hear you, and I’ve got it handled.” “Let’s talk about something else.”

You can say these with warmth. You can say them with a smile. But you can also say them firmly. You don’t have to make yourself smaller to keep the peace. Real peace includes you being respected.

-BWHI

Posted in Clinical Supervision | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Abilities

Posted on November 26, 2025 by msw blog

It’s not our abilities that show what we truly are…it is our choices. – Harry Potter        

Positively Purging-I welcome your feedbacks in the comments and your likes and passing the real life wisdom on to others as I embark on this new venture of “positively purging“, as I know each of these pieces represents something…

Posted in Reflections | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Dinner Conversation: Health Conversations

Posted on November 26, 2025 by msw blog

The holidays can actually be a beautiful time to start conversations about wellness, but only if we do it with care. Black women carry so much. We’re managing chronic conditions, navigating healthcare systems that don’t always see us, trying to prioritize ourselves in a world that tells us to keep giving until we’re empty.

If you want to open up a conversation about health, start with your own experience.

“I’ve been learning about bone health and how important strength training is as we get older. It’s been interesting.”

“I just realized I have been ordering new glasses online and not getting my eyes checked, I just made an appointment”

“I’ve been trying to move my body more, not to look different, just to feel stronger.”

This approach does two things: it shares information without preaching, and it invites people to join the conversation without forcing it. Someone might say, “Oh, I’ve been thinking about that too” or “Tell me more about that.” Or they might not. Both are fine.

What not to do: Don’t comment on anyone’s body, their plate, or their health choices. Don’t use the gathering as a moment to express concern about someone’s weight, their eating, or their appearance. Don’t say things like “You’ve really put on weight” or “You’re looking thin, are you eating?” or “Should you be eating that?”

Even if it comes from love, it doesn’t land that way. It lands as judgment. It lands as surveillance. And for Black women especially, who already deal with the world policing our bodies, we need our family tables to be places of refuge, not more scrutiny.

BWHI

Posted in Clinical Supervision | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

customer service

Posted on November 25, 2025 by msw blog

I often need help with tech support. When I call I sometimes get a representative with a strong accent that I can’t understand.

What is a polite way to address this? I sometimes just thank them and hang up and call back hoping I will get someone that I understand. For the record, my hearing is perfect.

– Need Help

When you call a customer service or help line, you and the representative have the same goal – solving the problem, hopefully quickly. So, encountering communication issues – whether they’re due to a bad connection, trouble understanding one another, or anything else – keeps everyone from their goal.

It’s no one’s fault and so it’s fine to just put it out there by saying, “I’m sorry, I’m having trouble understanding you. Is there someone else I can speak with?” By phrasing it in this way, you keep the focus on the goal – clear communication – without casting judgment on the way the representative speaks.

 This is in response to “Need Help”, who encountered trouble understanding customer service reps. I worked in a call center, international department until my retirement. Because every phone call is constantly being graded and monitored by “quality control department” callers can get better results for themselves and for the representative by asking “can you repeat that, please?” – this is an alert phrase.

You can also say “because this call is being rated for your quality of service, I want you to know, you are doing well. But I need to speak to your supervisor to resolve this.”

What does this do? It releases the CSR from the call allowing them to be the best they can be. Customer Service Rep goals are to “Relay, relate, respond and release” as efficiently as possible with kindness for a good grade. – Former CSR

Dear Former CSR: I really appreciate this peek behind the curtain. After working in restaurants as a server and server trainer for a decade, I feel that I have similar insights when I encounter issues when out dining. It’s helpful to remember that everyone has the same goal in customer service situations – a successful interaction.

Posted in Reading | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Dinner Conversation:Recently Single

Posted on November 25, 2025 by msw blog

Being newly single during the holidays can feel like walking into a room where everyone’s watching. Don’t treat someone like they’re broken. Don’t try to set them up with your coworker’s cousin.

Skip: “Everything happens for a reason” or “You’re better off” or “At least you found out now.”

Try: “I’m here if you want to talk. And also if you just want to eat and laugh.” Or honestly, just treat them normally. Sometimes the greatest gift is not making someone’s relationship status the center of attention.

Posted in Clinical Supervision | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments