1. HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY. When we weave webs of deception, we need to expend enormous mental energy to prevent them from tangling; as a result, we’re left with less brainpower for solving real problems.

2. GIVE UP ON TOXIC PEOPLE. Many people become wiser, calmer, and emotionally healthier with age and experience. Others display neither psychological health nor interest in changing. You may have already spent much of your life trying to get the love you deserve and need from someone in the second group. I’m so sorry, but that love will not be forthcoming. Go find the people who are willing to love you.

3. LET IT GO. According to neuroscientist Jill Bolte Taylor, PhD, when you feel an emotion caused by a negative event, it takes only 90 seconds for the body to process the resulting stress hormones and return to its baseline setting. Next time you’re overwhelmed by a terrible situation, dive in for 90 seconds. Don’t think, just feel it. It will be over very soon.

4. TRUST YOUR GUT. Complex thought has its place, but your senses are your most effective tool. Thoughts can “spin” our reactions to what we encounter, while the gut-deep impulses we get from instinct are usually more honest.

5. YOU’RE MORE POWERFUL THAN YOU KNOW. We stumble into delusion of powerlessness in our lives because we’re afraid of how other people would react if we did what we wanted. But it’s our job to defy that fear, no matter what others may say or do, and to trust that love will carry us through

–Martha Beck