For some people, comforting strangers is all in a day work. I’ve been a bartender everywhere- neighborhood bars, cocktail bars, dive bars, a Korean karaoke place. Other than pouring drinks, the job is pretty much this: Predict people’s needs, then fulfill them. The men mostly want reinforcement: Who am I in this world? I’m cool, right? I’m the funny one. But women want a friend. It can be I’m in town for a few days, where should I eat? Or I’m having an abortion tomorrow, and I’m really nervous. And I listen and offer whatever comfort and support I can. But it’s less one-sided than you think. Helping people heal a little and feel okay helps me heal a little and feel okay. It wasn’t always that way. There were times when I wasn’t able to be a shoulder for someone else – it would’ve sucked me dry. What do they want from me? I’d think. This is too much. Bust if you have a strong core and are secure in yourself, then you can afford to be generous with you understanding, your heart. -Vanessa Armin