Perhaps the secret of living well is not in having all the answers but in pursuing unanswerable questions in good company.” — Rachel Naomi Remen
Positively Purging-I welcome your feedbacks in the comments and your likes and passing the real life wisdom on to others as I embark on this new venture of “positively purging“, as I know each of these pieces represents something…
“I find hope in the small moments when people choose trust over fear. Every time someone has a difficult conversation with grace instead of avoidance, every time a manager acknowledges their mistake instead of deflecting, every time a colleague extends transparency when they could withhold information. These moments remind me that we’re capable of speaking each other’s trust languages even in our most challenging times. – Minda Harts
Dear God, may we find strength in each other, courage in community, and peace in the presence of love. May those grieving be held gently, and may we all be prepared not just for disaster, but for compassion, connection, and healing. Amen.
Positively Purging-I welcome your feedbacks in the comments and your likes and passing the real life wisdom on to others as I embark on this new venture of “positively purging“, as I know each of these pieces represents something…
I have a friend of several decades and recently learned she is a hoarder. We always met outside our homes for coffee or lunch. I just assumed it was more convenient.
A few months ago, she texted to tell me she’s been embarrassed for me to find out her “secret”. She also asked me for help. I was thrilled and offered to help, but she refused to make a commitment.
Later I found out her therapist insisted she reach out to a friend for help. She also confessed she had no intention of letting me near her house. Her mother and daughter are quick to express their disgust at her “problem,” making her shame worse.
I feel nothing but compassion for my friend. I’d leave the problem alone except my friend does a fair amount of animal rescue, particularly cats and kittens. She said one of the rooms in her house is covered with uncleaned feces and mice droppings. I’m worried about her health. Pushing my friend will only make her withdraw. I can’t call authorities as we live in a small town, and she is a well-respected educator. Do you have any suggestions? – Hoarder’s Friend
Dear Friend: There are avenues for help but, as with any other compulsive behavior, she has to be willing to take a step toward them. You might give her the book “Buried in Treasure, Help for Compulsive Acquiring, Saving and Hoarding” by David F. Tolin, Randy O. Frost and Gail Steketee, and even ask if she’d be willing to do a “book club” with you about it. Perhaps reading a chapter a month or a week. You might also suggest she give herself the homework of discussing the chapter with her therapist.
Additionally, it may be time to reach out to someone else who has more extensive training. I know you don’t want to expose her to public scrutiny or embarrassment, but the threat to her health and the health of her pets may necessitate bringing in some authorities. Shame can be managed, the loss of life can’t and many people who hoard live in places that pose extreme risk for fire and can trap themselves or firefighters inside.
Your local or state health department will have resources for people who hoard. Many have so-called “hoarding task forces” with connections to police, fire and mental health support. Often, they’re trained in sensitivity and discretion. I encourage you to reach out.
The Well Garden Mind Rediscovering nature in the modern world by Sue Stuart- Smith (2020, 286 pages). If you judge a book by its cover, you may think that The Well-Gardened Mind is a self-help book in which Stuart-Smith argues how people can transform their lives and improve their mental health by taking up the hobby of gardening. A more discerning reader, however, will know that Sue Stuart-Smith, who is prominent psychiatrist and psychotherapist, unravels the working of the land as a psychodynamic process, she exposes deep truths about the interconnectedness of the mind, the body, and what lies outside us, and she does so with a winning mix of verve and generosity. Telling brilliant, illuminating stories of real-life examples backed by scientific evidence to illustrate how prisoners, veterans, asylum seekers inner-city young, the elderly, and mentally ill people struggling with stress, depression, trauma, and addiction. This is a glorious science book, insight and anecdote that shows how our understanding of nature and its restorative powers can benefit all of us from the mental health and spiritual recovery that comes with tending to a plot of land or an ordinary house plant.
Real Life of an MSW 