1. Be assertive
With doctors, with people who “mean well” but don’t know the whole story. 

And ask for help, when you need it.

2. Be patient
With yourself above all, with your charge, and with others who share your concern for the sufferer.

3. Be forgiving
Of your own missteps: There is no one-size-fits-all map to follow in this calling.

4. Try not to eat (or drink) for comfort
You’ll just end up with one more thing to forgive yourself for!

5. Talk about it
To your spouse, to your siblings (they need the opportunity to share your reality, anyway), to a support group, to good friends.

6. Write about it
Keep a dump-it-all-here journal, compose an email or a letter to a supportive friend, join an online discussion page.

7. Turn to faith
Whenever your situation seems hopeless, overwhelming, or bigger than you are, lean on your faith or spirituality.

8. Walk off the stress
Or bike it off or swim it off. Physical activity is a side effect-free path to tranquility. 

And getting or staying fit bolsters not only your self-confidence but also your emotional and physical stamina. Serotonin and endorphins are our friends.

9. Don’t make assumptions
About anything: another person’s state of mind, or health, or view of your circumstances. 

Communication is key here. Ask the question. Clarify the message. Choose your advisors with care. Take good notes when new facts emerge.

10. Don’t take it personally
And by “it” I mean anything. 

Throughout the caregiving experience, emotions can run wild on all sides. I hope these reminders will help you tame them. 

If you should reach the boiling point, please sleep on it before zipping off a fiery email or making a heated phone call.