Rediscovery

How did you and your partner stay romantically connected during the postpartum period? Tell us the playful, creative ways you showed love and intimacy when sex wasn’t always an option. Here’s what some of you had to say.

Date nights go a long way One of the things that helped us the most was going out and spending the night elsewhere every now and then. These little times alone away from everything helped our marriage tremendously. –J. Marcelo “BeeZee” Baqueroalvarez

Text each other [In the postpartum period, my partner and I] texted like teenagers all hours of the day: silly, heartfelt and thoughtful pictures, hilarious quotes and videos, with no obligation to view them or respond. Remember, your partner is not only your lover and the parent of your child, but also your best friend. You can still share humor and feel that joy you felt passing notes in the second grade. You’ll get back to normality eventually, but until then, try texting — it saved us. –Marnie McCasland

Be intentional about spending time together My partner and I struggled with this but we made time to talk to each other and hear out what each person needed. Spending family time together, going on walks, making time for dinner dates or relaxing together when the kids went to bed helped us feel connected again. And expressing gratitude! –Elisa Gunn

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Don’t Monopolize the Conversation

You may have a lot to share, but not everything on your mind needs to be released in this public forum. “Parties are for mingling, so avoid dominating discussions or talking too much about yourself,” Otabor says. “Engage briefly, listen actively, and give others a chance to connect.” If you feel like you’re carrying the conversation too much, ask some open-ended questions or fun conversation starters to offer others a chance to open up. 

Positively Purging-I welcome your feedbacks in the comments and your likes and passing the real-life wisdom on to others as I embark on this new venture of “positively purging”, as I know each of these pieces represents something…

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Defining Romance

Romance can be extended to so many different relationships. It’s about being seen and heard an taken care of, and that’s what we can offer to people when we’re hosting.

Positively Purging-I welcome your feedbacks in the comments and your likes and passing the real-life wisdom on to others as I embark on this new venture of “positively purging”, as I know each of these pieces represents something…

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Treat everyone like they’re an expert

Before I started the list, I thought I was curious, but I’ve come to realize I never asked the right questions. Every person has something to teach you. You have to treat people with the respect their knowledge deserves. This is just one of the ways many of us miss out in life, because we want things to be predictable and comfortable and want to respect people’s privacy. Trust me: People love teaching you things. In fact, I can’t think of anything they love more. – Laura Carney

Positively Purging-I welcome your feedbacks in the comments and your likes and passing the real-life wisdom on to others as I embark on this new venture of “positively purging”, as I know each of these pieces represents something…

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Queens: Portraits of Black Women and their Fabulous Hair

Queens: Portraits of Black Women and their Fabulous Hair (2005, nonfiction, 199 pages) Michael Cunningham (Photographer), George Alexander. I would categorize this as a coffee table book. It is a collection of black and white photographs and narratives of Black women and their hair. The narratives range from the pressure within the Black community to adopt pressed and treated styles, especially from the older generation. “When I was a child, my mother encouraged me to perm my hair. My mother thinks permed hair is good; it’s a symbol of wealth (175). To a discussion on fantasy hairstyles “Wearing the Twin Towers is an honor. My cousin who was twenty-six years old and a mother of two died… on 9/11(10)”. To discovering one’s true self “My mohawk says, I don’t care. To anyone passing by it says, ‘I could care less what you think’ (138)”, to the importance of the Creating a Respectful and Open World for Natural (CROWN) Hair Act of 2020 “I was disappointed because my locks were keeping me from getting a job. So, I wore a wig for my interview… I thought, ‘Don’t lose your job because of a hairdo’ (62)”. The beauty of this book is the diversity of it, from young children to elders who span the globe. The downside of this book is that I wish some of the stories were longer and more in-depth.  Each story is no longer than two pages. If you’re looking for a beautiful coffee table book, I would suggest this. If you’re looking to be more informed on Black women and their hair, I would suggest Tenderheaded: A Comb-Bending Collection of Hair Storiesby Pamela Johnson . If you’re not a reader, Chris Rock’s Good Hair is worth a watch.

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