Navigating Life Transitions

Posted on October 1, 2024 by msw blog

when navigating life transitions, it’s easy to hold onto things we should let go. oftentimes, we try to bring what’s worked in the past into our new season. but sometimes, a new phase in life requires us to pick up new habits, opportunities, routines, and mindsets. to do that, we have to willingly release certain things—but that release can be painful, especially when we’re freeing what’s been beneficial in previous seasons of our lives. it could be anything from: a morning routine we’ve done for years but that no longer works when we have a child. a job that catapulted our growth but is no longer pushing us because we’ve learned all we can at the company. a mindset that helped us thrive in our singleness but isn’t beneficial in a committed relationship.

Positively Purging-I welcome your feedbacks in the comments and your likes and passing the real life wisdom on to others as I embark on this new venture of “positively purging“, as I know each of these pieces represents something…

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The Corner

Posted on October 1, 2024 by msw blog

The Corner by David Simon and Edward Burns (1997, Non Fiction) is a tome of a nonfiction novel, leaving me to wonder how many pages must a novel be before you consider it to be a tome? How do you go about reading such a volume? This novel was 543 pages and took me twenty- four days to read. The only rule I had in tackling it was to read a bit of it each day. This novel is broken into the four seasons. The premise is simple– former Baltimore Sun reporter Simon (the driving force behind HBO’s “The Wire”, which takes place in the same area) and reporting partner Ed Burns (formerly employed by both the Baltimore City Police and the Baltimore school district) spent a year living on or around one of the busiest drug markets in Baltimore. They simply report what they see. In doing so, they relate the stories of the people who inhabit this world. The narrative is occasionally broken up by Simon and Burns’ musings about the war on drugs. No matter where you fall on the political spectrum, it’s hard to disagree with their belief that the war has failed, at least in Baltimore. The Corner reads like a tragic novel, one that offers hope we will eventually end this “war on the underclass.” This novel was so powerful that in 2000 it was made into an award-winning HBO six-part miniseries, which is just as powerful and moving as the novel.

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Radom Act of Kindness

Posted on September 30, 2024 by msw blog

RAVE to all my friends, neighbors and colleagues. I pride myself on my independent nature, but a hip replacement and open heart surgery over a six-week period forced me to ask for help. The response from everyone (especially my neighbors in West Seattle) has been nothing short of amazing. From grocery runs, meal prep and dog walking, their spirit of generosity and assistance has left me speechless. I might start believing that there’s hope for humanity after all.

RAVE to the very nice and helpful young person who helped me, an 89-year-old, exit my car from a large medical garage on Mother’s Day morning! They made my day!

RAVE to Washington State Parks for allowing late-night entrance into Lake Sammamish State Park to view the recent aurora borealis! Thanks to the pleasant and helpful park rangers! 

RAVE to the two people who smashed into my car at a stop light, beat me up, stole my wallet, cellphone and car, and left me bleeding on the pavement. Later in the emergency room, an electrocardiogram showed I had an affib heart rhythm, which led to many tests showing I probably would have had a heart attack within 2-3 months. You saved my life.

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Remote Etiquette

Posted on September 30, 2024 by msw blog

I lived in California for eight years until my brother was diagnosed with cancer and I decided to move to Arizona to help care for him. I had been working in a new role for about six months when my brother was diagnosed, but my company offered to let me work remotely.

I return to California for work about four or five times a year. Recently, on a Zoom call with co-workers, there was discussion about happy hour and making sure to “have fun” with my co-workers outside work when I’m in California. I like to use these trips, in my non-working hours, to visit old friends and family. I don’t want to spend time with co-workers outside normal business hours, but I feel bad saying “no” since the company is paying for my flight. Am I more obligated to attend these social gatherings because my job is paying for travel? Is it OK to be honest and say I’d rather keep my co-worker time to office hours or should I just lie and say I’m busy every night? — Anonymous

You are only obligated to do your job when you travel to California. They are paying for your flight because you are going there for work. They are not, in doing so, staking a claim on all your free time. I suspect your colleagues are trying to make you feel welcome and to offer you options for socializing in case you don’t know anyone in the area. You certainly could be honest and say you don’t want to hang out, but that might create unnecessary tension. Another version of the truth is that you already have evening plans while you are there but very much appreciate the generous invitation.

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Four Categories of Regrets

Posted on September 29, 2024 by msw blog

Daniel Pink asserts that what stands out most about regrets is their ubiquity and common underlying structure. Our regrets tend to fall into four main categories:

  1. Foundational regrets stem from our failure to attend to some aspect of our lives because we choose short term gain over long term benefits. Foundational regrets include statements such as, “If only I wore more sunscreen.”
  2. Boldness regrets come from not stepping up, speaking out, or showing up in our lives. With boldness regrets we may say, “I wish I was more true to myself.”
  3. Connection regrets occur when we don’t step through what psychologist and professor John Gottman calls the “sliding door moments” of relationships. They include the relationships that have drifted over time, or ended in rifts.
  4. Moral regrets are a product of acting in ways that go against our beliefs and values. The most common are cheating, harming someone, being unloyal, or dishonoring authority.
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