Q: Does my debt make me undatable?

A:
So, how much debt is a relationship deal-breaker? I don’t think you have to dump people just because of a heavy debt load, whether it’s education or even credit card obligations.
But there are signs that it could be a deal-breaker if the relationship progresses:
- You don’t think it’s a big deal, but your partner worries about it. Dating gives you an opportunity to examine someone’s values. Heavy debt makes some people lose sleep, so if they see you aren’t as concerned, that could be a problem.
- You don’t have a payoff plan. If you ignore calls from creditors and let your bills pile up, you may scare off someone who loathes debt.
People often want to know when they should disclose their debt. Talk about the details when the relationship starts to get serious. If you’ve decided to be exclusive — particularly if marriage is on your mind — bring up the debt.
I would not judge someone based on his or her indebtedness. But you have to appreciate the concern someone might have if you are carrying a lot of debt.



