You’ve been open about therapy being part of your life. Are you still working with a therapist?
Yes. When you have trauma, eventually it needs to be reprocessed. What I’m working on with my therapist now is building up my resourcing, so that when it’s time to reprocess the trauma, it’s not re-traumatizing. You don’t want to flood yourself revisiting that trauma because that can keep you from healing—you have to go slowly. My therapist defines trauma as too much too fast, or too little for too long.
How does the work you’re doing in therapy affect your life?
The falling-in-love process has been overwhelming. The work is to be able to receive it and feel I’m worthy of the love. Hello, I’m worthy because I’m a child of God and worthiness is a birthright. But I can’t believe I’m being treated this well, after all these years. It’s taken me nearly 50 years to get here. It can be overwhelming. Love has to be constantly renewed and cared for. When you’re really vulnerable with someone, there’s something beautiful and incredible about that. When you’re vulnerable, you’re woundable. You have the capacity to be hurt. And when someone is vulnerable with you, you have the capacity to hurt them. That is an awesome responsibility. It’s something I don’t take lightly. It is an honor to be loved and to love. It’s a huge responsibility to have someone’s heart.
Real Life of an MSW 
” … so that when it’s time to reprocess the trauma, it’s not re-traumatizing.” I had never thought of it that way, but that’s a real concern. Someone close to me seemed to be doing better, but recently she was revisited by the “ex,” and some old wounds were reopened. I guess they must have just been stuffed.
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Everyone carries an invisible backpack filled with trauma.” Each person in the world is carrying struggles, challenges, fears, traumas, abuse, losses. The key to healing is to feel our backpacks with wonderful copying skills, such as therapy, support systems, meditation, and healthy creative tasks of interest. So, when trauma is retriggered, we have a backpack full of tools that will help us through the trauma, and keep us on our healing journey.
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This is beautiful. What I’ve learned in CBT is how allow my emotions/feelings to have their place. But them a time limit! What I use to do is dwell, in my trauma! I mean it was as if I had gotten complacent in living in a bad experience. I sat with it daily. I’d lay in the fetal position and think bad thoughts. But I had to truly practice and focus on the now! I learned to process things. I learned to deal with myself. I learned to give myself grace. And it really is something that you work at daily! I’m just thankful for growth. I look back and just five years ago I was sinking, and today I no longer have to sink because I know and respect my feelings/emotions but I don’t let them take control over me! I deal with them and I’m in control of them. Yeah, I think previously they had control over me! Yeah, that’s it. I’m encouraged this morning!
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I was glad to read that the, words allowed you a moment to pause, ponder and reflect. Thanks for reading and commenting!
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You’re welcome
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