1. It protects our time. Every “no” to what drains us creates space for the things that actually energize us—like connection with people we love and the hobbies that put us in a flow state.
2. It keeps us aligned with our values. Too much compliance leaves us with that nagging feeling of “I’m not living how I want to live.” Saying no closes the gap between our values and action and helps bring our choices back in line with what we care about most.
3. It reduces stress. Clarifying and acting on our values lowers our biological stress response. Practicing defiance when it matters can help prevent burnout and keeps us happier in the long run.
Take Action This Week: Say “no” to one small thing that protects your values or your time. Maybe say no to a Zoom meeting that could be an email, or maybe take a break from social media to protect your time and attention.- Dr. Sunita Sah
pause and truly listen. The hum of a distant conversation, the rustle of leaves, the purr of your cat, sounds carry stories, comfort, and connection.
Positively Purging-I welcome your feedbacks in the comments and your likes and passing the real-life wisdom on to others as I embark on this new venture of “positively purging”, as I know each of these pieces represents something…
How has embracing a slower pace changed your life for the better?
Positively Purging-I welcome your feedbacks in the comments and your likes and passing the real-life wisdom on to others as I embark on this new venture of “positively purging”, as I know each of these pieces represents something…
“When do you feel most calm and grounded these days?”
Positively Purging-I welcome your feedbacks in the comments and your likes and passing the real-life wisdom on to others as I embark on this new venture of “positively purging”, as I know each of these pieces represents something…
While my son and daughter-in-law are raising their children quite differently than how I parented, I feel they are loving and caring, and I have expressed my support to them. However, there is one behavior that I really struggle with. The children, 5 and 8, interrupt conversations between adults with their own questions or wishes (“Look at my Barbie,” “I want potato chips”) and the parents always drop the adult conversations and engage with the child, to the extent of leaving the room with the child and leaving the adult (me) sitting, waiting to see if or when we’ll return to our chat.
I feel disrespected and as if the exchange was not important. I have tried to redirect the children myself, saying, “Yes, I’d love to color with you. I am talking to your mom right now, but I will come to you in five minutes. “
This goes nowhere and does not curb the interruptions. The parents don’t back my efforts. It seems to me that they believe the child’s “need” always takes priority, whereas I view teaching a child to wait patiently and take turns is an important social skill. Help. How can I make peace with this situation? – Grandma on Hold
Dear Grandma: Though this practice wouldn’t be your choice and sets a precedent with the kids that could lead to entitled pre-teens, try to remove your feeling of being disrespected from the equation. Your son and daughter-in-law are managing hundreds of large and small decisions as they try to parent in a way that’s responsible and responsive to their children.
While it’s your opinion that adult conversations ought not take a backseat to the needs and wants of the child, when they choose a different tactic, they’re not doing it because conversations with Grandma aren’t important, but rather because, in their view, every conversation has equal weight.
In short, just let them. It can feel, sometimes, like these differences in parenting styles are subtle (or not-so-subtle) referendums on the choices you made in parenting. Try to see it more expansively. They’re parenting in a different world and in a different context. But you raised your son in a way that empowers him to make decisions, even decisions that, in your view, aren’t the best.
