Real Life of an MSW

I lived in California for eight years until my brother was diagnosed with cancer and I decided to move to Arizona to help care for him. I had been working in a new role for about six months when my brother was diagnosed, but my company offered to let me work remotely.

I return to California for work about four or five times a year. Recently, on a Zoom call with co-workers, there was discussion about happy hour and making sure to “have fun” with my co-workers outside work when I’m in California. I like to use these trips, in my non-working hours, to visit old friends and family. I don’t want to spend time with co-workers outside normal business hours, but I feel bad saying “no” since the company is paying for my flight. Am I more obligated to attend these social gatherings because my job is paying for travel? Is it OK to be honest and say I’d rather keep my co-worker time to office hours or should I just lie and say I’m busy every night? — Anonymous

You are only obligated to do your job when you travel to California. They are paying for your flight because you are going there for work. They are not, in doing so, staking a claim on all your free time. I suspect your colleagues are trying to make you feel welcome and to offer you options for socializing in case you don’t know anyone in the area. You certainly could be honest and say you don’t want to hang out, but that might create unnecessary tension. Another version of the truth is that you already have evening plans while you are there but very much appreciate the generous invitation.