How do we reframe the idea of “wasted” time.
Positively Purging-I welcome your feedbacks in the comments and your likes and passing the real life wisdom on to others as I embark on this new venture of “positively purging”, as I know each of these pieces represents something…
The fragility of life is what makes it so beautiful.
Positively Purging-I welcome your feedbacks in the comments and your likes and passing the real life wisdom on to others as I embark on this new venture of “positively purging“, as I know each of these pieces represents something…
How to live? Simplicity is so rich. My unremarkable days might seem infinitely uninteresting to a youthful person. But older age has given me permission to do what I always dreamed of doing: sit around reading, walk, putter. Busyness and fear constrict us in youth; fresh air and nature free us in old age.
My pastor said you can trap bees at the bottom of a Mason jar without a lid because they don’t look up and fly away. So I look up. Today, darker fog covers the lower part of the mountain but becomes a soft, heathery gray where it meets the deep green of the hills. – Annie Lamont
I grew up in a hoarding house. My childhood was a nightmare of shame and helplessness. As soon as I was able, I got out of that house.
I now own my own home with my husband. We make it an inviting and clean space. But my parents continue to live that way, and no one can go to the house. If family comes from out of town, I have to host them, even though I don’t have a spare bedroom.
Holiday meals are my duty also, even though my parents have more outdoor space and more free time to coordinate. I don’t want to have to make everyone go to a restaurant to visit. But I resent feeling like I am the only alternative.
So how do I get over the resentment and dread that is increasing with every holiday? I can’t just put my foot down and say I’m done because that just means I can’t see my family.
Dear Matriarch: This is a big burden and it’s not fair that you have to carry it. However, a lot of your resentment is coming from your ideas of what life should be instead of what is. Accepting that your parents aren’t going to change – and that means they’re going to let you down – will help you as much as it frustrates you.
Separate out what you actually want from holidays. Separate out what you actually want from holidays. Put aside the things that feel like obligations. Are you actually interested in hosting family or is that their expectation? If it’s the latter, you can and should tell them, “We’d love to see you, but we can’t host you right now. I can make some recommendations for affordable hotels if you want.” You may get pushback, but it’s not your job to satisfy everyone’s expectations.
The same is true with meals. A restaurant may actually be a better solution, as the cost is shared, and people can order what they want. Plus, you don’t have to do cleanup.I understand that you feel you don’t have control in any part of this. That started way back in childhood in your parent’s hoarder home. If you’re not in therapy, you may want to talk through your feelings with someone. It will help bring clarity.
Establishing a boundary and communicating your needs won’t create more mess. Indeed, it’s healthier if you do.
Words are more powerful than you think. “My go-to no matter what: ‘I am more than enough. I am doing my best, and it’s more than enough.’ Two other affirmations that I love: ‘Giving up on myself is not an option.’ And ‘I welcome new opportunities and people that bring me joy.’”-Oludara Adeeyo
Positively Purging-I welcome your feedbacks in the comments and your likes and passing the real life wisdom on to others as I embark on this new venture of “positively purging“, as I know each of these pieces represents something…
