Positive Attitude

Make someone’s day“I’m an incurable optimist … always have been. Many years ago, I sent a note of appreciation to the department head for a woman who had helped me immensely. The following day I received a phone call from the woman, and she was in tears. She had been called in to her supervisor’s office, and she was sure it was for some sort of reprimand. To her surprise, the supervisor showed her my memo and reaffirmed that her work was superior. It turns out the employee had had a particularly bad week at home and was quite depressed. ‘I’ve never forgotten that. The simplest things can make the biggest difference to someone.” — Charles, 71

Fake it til you make it “I never realized until I was older just how negative I could be. In the last several years, I have made a real effort to adjust my mindset. I realized how even small negative comments and thoughts can affect my outlook, as well as the outlooks of those around me. It’s something I work on every single day, which is often difficult because of lifelong depression issues. Don’t we all prefer to surround ourselves with positive people rather than Debbie Downers? Twelve years ago my sister-in-law suddenly lost her husband of 30 years. His loss is, and always will be, enormously painful for her. But when you ask her how she has coped so well, she will tell you that she chooses to be happy. That happiness could be a choice had never entered my mind. I started small. When people would ask ‘how are you?’ I would say, ‘I am great!’ no matter how I was really feeling. Almost like faking it until you make it. I soon found I was feeling pretty great most of the time. And the positive interaction I get from others has reinforced the importance of that positivity.” — Diana, 60

“Every time I encounter difficult times, I make a point to write down 10 things I’m grateful for. It helps me keep a positive attitude and to focus on everything that is good in my life. Singing in a choir is a habit that helps me stay positive. To me, there is nothing more joyful than many different voices converging as one to create beautiful music.” — Sabine, 65

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Word of the Day

Microjoys are about holding joy in one hand, and grief in the other.

It sounds like positive thinking is useful when you have energy to give, But microjoys are a kind of survival kit for terrible times, because they ask for nothing in return. With positive thinking, there’s an exchange. You put out what you put I get back mostly. But with microjoys, it’s just receiving , when you have nothing left to give. All that microjoys demands of us is presence. But we have to train ourselves to receive those moments. And these moments of being present brought you back to life. I realized the only way that I was going to recognize a part of myself again was to reach for the small moments of joy and hope that were right in front of me. – Cyndie Spiegel 

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Live Every Day Like a Crisis

Bad things will happen — to our businesses, in our lives, and in the world. It is all too easy to be derailed, and lose track of our goals. But crises can also provide opportunities for clarity. Embrace the moments when you have no choice.


To do that, I ask myself these three questions:

  1. What’s the worst that can happen?
  2. What would I do if I were starting from scratch today?
  3. How can I extract value from this otherwise bad situation?

Here’s what I often find, as I ask those questions: The worst-case scenario is unlikely, but it is also survivable. Starting from scratch liberates you from the mistakes of the past. And no matter the crisis, you can extract value.

Most importantly, when you start to think this way, you start thinking this way even in good times. Then you don’t need a crisis to start thinking big.

Because after all, nobody likes a crisis — even if it’s a useful one.

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The Pinapple Conversation

Your answer to this question will give you insight both on how you listen and how you like to be heard.

A friend says to you with urgency, “I need a pineapple. Do you have one?”

You’ve got none. You say:

     a) “I have no pineapples.”

     b) “I have no pineapples. Would you like to know what I do have?”

     c) “I’ve got some plums. Do you want those?”

     d) “Why do you need a pineapple?”

Which answer do you like and which would drive you nuts (if you were the pineapple pursuer)? (Mine are B and D respectively).

Do you know why you like what you like? How do you respond when a loved one wants a different type of response than the one you like to give (or the one you like to hear)?

The more clarity we have on both of those things, along with the flexibility to move with different ways of being in our relationships, the easier things become.

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Growth Through Grief

 “Tonkin argues that grief is never really finished, so much as a bereaved person grows around their grief; not that the hole the loss created is ever entirely filled, so much as other things take up space around it so the loss is easier to carry.”

Positively Purging-I welcome your feedbacks in the comments and your likes and passing the real life wisdom on to others as I embark on this new venture of “positively purging“, as I know each of these pieces represents something…

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