Does the self you remember feel like you, or like a stranger? Do you seem to be remembering yesterday, or reading a novel about a fictional character? Those questions popped into my mind after reading Wynne Leon “About Page”, and her providing me with thoughtful feedback. I challenged myself to rewrite mine in 500 words or less (I am forever the professor). That was nearly two months ago. Today, I started to clean my home office, and through the wireless speakers Jay –Z, blared “Let me reintroduce myself”. I paused my cleaning, and thought let me get this overdue assignment uploaded.
“I am a therapist, professor, clinical supervisor, gardener, cook (not a chef: only one per household and mine already has one) spouse, sister, auntie/mama/granny, friend, (nosy) neighbor, sudoku lover, avid reader, lover of antiques, and kind stranger. I introduce myself as a woman of color in emails, it’s my way of cutting the shit. If you have race or gender problems, you know up front. There is no need to be surprised, and nothing I can do about those characteristics, nor do I want to.
I am serious about living a full life. I love my career, and worked my ass off to achieve it, but I am not just a therapist. I also don’t go around telling people I am a therapist. You want to see a conversation get awkward quickly, tell a stranger you’re a therapist. Hell, tell your neighbors, and they will forever think you are analyzing them. When people ask me what I do for a living (why do we always ask these questions?) I often counter with “What did you eat today?” It often throws people off and lets you into a bit of their world (if you’re curious, I had a handful of gummy bears today.). The older I get, I am about being still. I don’t mean sitting still. Stillness for me means finding things that calm my spirit.
I enjoy gardening. I have been told the grounds of my home are “forest like” and the interior of my home is a beautiful urban jungle. Stillness is cooking. I grew up well below the poverty line, so I am serious about preventing food waste and trying new foods. Stillness means running and going on walks. Stillness means having this blog. I have been asked, “How do you find something new to write about every day?” “Does blogging ever get old?” To this I think, I remember checking the mailbox as a child. So many letters, bills, and junk mail, but nothing was addressed to you. That’s how the internet feels these days. There’s so much chaos it’s hard to find something that speaks to you. It is my hope you find something here.
I treat the Real Life of an MSW like a notebook, full of beautiful conversations that leaves me thinking, pondering, laughing, pissed off, or inspired. My thought is that if the post strikes a chord in me, I need to schedule it because I am genuinely interested in what you think (professional hazard). I want to be always asking and answering “How did I get here” which was the core question when I started this blog eight years ago. I still believe I am answering that question, but now with more thorough vignettes and reflections as we all have a story to tell and share. This is not only apparent here, but through my work as therapist, professor, clinical supervisor and mentor, as I am forever reminded of the Audrey Hepburn quote “As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.”
I’ve written version of my about page before, you can read them here.
