Your workout can be its own kind of devotion, a challenge that not only pushes your limits and build strength but leaves you with a sense of accomplishment that keeps other stresses and values in perspective.
Positively Purging-I welcome your feedbacks in the comments and your likes and passing the real life wisdom on to others as I embark on this new venture of “positively purging“, as I know each of these pieces represents something…
Have a labeling party “so your descendants will not be faced with boxfuls of unidenfitabfle family pictures” Then plan for a non family member to take a group shot
Get that worrisome “thing” checked out You know, that mole, pain, or bump you tell yourself is nothing (you’re probably right!) but that you’re not 100% sure about. Such things can gnaw at you, and research tells us uncertainty is a lot more stressful than knowing what to expect, good or bad. So have a doctor look at it already! Either you’ll breathe a sigh of relief or you’ll get it treated right away. “Often what seems like a big deal for you is routine for your doctor-they’ve seen it all and can take some of the worry off your plate,” says Dr. Miller.
Swap to dos with a friend. There’s aways one chore you can’t seal the deal on – and seeing it reappear on your to do list only makes you feel bad. Instead ask a friend who does mind hemming your daughters skirt to help you out with that, and do a task she hates (say, updating her computer) that feels like no biggie to you.
Do a cathartic mini cleanup spending just a few minutes cleaning one spot that’s been grossing you out (like the crumb-filled sofa cushions or that sticky shelf in your pantry) can give you benefits fast, because it requires a little panning and a shirt burst of physical activity, both of which can reduce stress. Plus think how much better you’ll feel when you can sit on the couch without it making a weird crunching sound.
Breath through your feet. When you’re feeling pulled in too many directions, you can center yourself by bringing attention to your feet. If you’re indoors (or outdoors someplace clean and safe) take off your shoes and stand tall.
Our adult daughter, 28, doesn’t call us often, but often when she does, she is in a blue funk and sees every aspect of her life as a negative.
She got an interview with a firm she has really wanted to work for, but in her call she had so many negative things to say about the firm, the hours required, etc. I don’t know what to say to her in these calls
because no matter what I say, she says something negative.
She has dealt with depression and has always had trouble with change, so this might be part of that, but these calls are super-hard on me. The pandemic has driven her crazy, and she talks about how she has been hurt with it. She doesn’t understand that we feel the same way, and so does everyone else in the universe.
I had to walk away from the phone last night because she was causing me so much anxiety. I want to be empathetic and a good listener, but I don’t know how to do it when she is in one of these negative phases. – In a Funk
I found myself agreeing with Carolyn’s reply and agreeing this sounds like dumping. Therefore, I share her advice with a caveat, Parents are the usual target, even when the “kids” are 28. There’s an unspoken I-don’t-have-to-treat-this-as-a-regular-conversation rule, where Kid can talk at Parent without going through the formalities of asking questions or expressing compassion or exchanging ideas. It’s not a great rule and is best used sparingly — even the most doting parent will glaze over at the thought of a lifetime as designated dumpee — but there is something nice, for those who have a forgiving parent or mentor, about knowing you can still call sometimes and go aaaaaaa for 20 minutes not to get advice but just for the sake of saying aaaaaaa, then hang up and feel better.” I would also start each conversation by setting the time limit, and asking if she called to vent, or seek advice. Now the caveat, if this woman mentions her child has depression, I would encourage her to seek professional help if these calls are happening more than three times a week, and last more than 20 minutes. A professional is trained to actively listen, but also trained to work to provide patients with the tools, and in some cases medications to overcome this issue. How would you handle this?
My best friend is trying to conceive, but so far it hasn’t worked out. How can I elaborate and share milestones about my kids without making my friend feel bad?
Sharing your children’s milestones is fun but do so in the same way you would another family member’s accomplishments. Then make an effort to be engaged with your friend’s life updates so that you cheer her on as she does for you and your family. I found infertility to be a confusing and oftentimes isolating process. I really appreciated when friends would listen and ask me which step of the process, I was in so that they would have a clear view of when I was experiencing a down fall or a moment to celebrate –Amy Kirhara Hendricks
The best way to move forward in any area we’re not sure about is to ask questions. Open a conversation with your friend, let them know about your hesitation, and allow them to weigh in. It can be as simple as, “hey I’d like to check in with you. They’d love to celebrate with you, or perhaps it feels like too much. Knowing helps you move forward without guessing. Let them know you’re always open to reassessing in the future. Also be sure to have conversations and bonding experiences that have nothing to do with children. Create space for your friendships – Dr. Joy Harden Bradford
Communicate openly and honestly with your friend about your family and theirs. The fact that they’re struggling with infertility doesn’t mean they’re not excited for you. Sharing your joy is important, and you can do that while being an empathic friend. While the thing I wanted most was support during our fertility journey, that never once diminished my excitement to joy for my friends and family who were celebrating their own growing families. Still as you talk about your own news and listen to theirs, I would avoid comments like “It will all be fine’ or everything is going to work out” Dave DiGiacomo
